Meant to be Kept Read online

  Her hand fell from his arm, and she rested back on her heels. She shook her head and drew her brows together. “Y-you don’t take days off.” She ran her fingers through her long, chocolate brown hair and Tanner had to stifle a groan. Damn, she looked good first thing in the morning. “You work late nights, you work weekends, but you definitely don’t take days off.”

  Tanner’s heart constricted with her words and a spark of irritation flared. “I do now.” His voice was harder than he’d intended, but dammit, he was getting tired of the reminders of his failures. He was fixing it, wasn’t he?

  Belle lifted her eyes to his and nearly all of his frustration melted away at the fire he saw reflected back at him. “You do?” She walked forward on her knees and straddled his lap. “So every Thursday you’ll be home?”

  Oh, holy hell, was she really doing this or was he still dreaming? He swallowed down the sarcastic words that had been on the tip of his tongue just a moment ago. “Y-yes. And Tuesday afternoon.”

  A small smile curved her lips and her fingers trailed up his arms to rest on his shoulders. She sat in his lap, and as soon as the physical result of his far too realistic dream brushed against her inner thigh, her eyes flared, and he sucked in a breath. Well, damn. His greedy little vixen was back.

  When her tongue ran along her bottom lip, he thought he’d die right there. He tried to keep his hands at his sides. He tried to let her take control. He wanted her to be certain. Needed her to be ready. But the feel of her mouth against his ear nearly destroyed every ounce of self-control he had in his body.

  “You were having a really good dream, weren’t you?”

  Honesty, he reminded himself again, total honesty. “I had your tight little body beneath me.” He grasped her thighs. “And your sexy legs holding me tight against you while you screamed my name. Hell yeah, it was a good dream.”

  His hands traveled under her shirt. She gasped against his neck where she had been planting tiny kisses. He made lazy patterns on her back with his fingertips before circling around to her navel.

  She pulled back slightly, staring at him for several long moments before tugging his shirt over his head.

  He grinned as her unabashedly needy gaze swept over his chest and her tongue darted out to lick her lips again. “You see something you like there, sweetheart?”

  Belle’s eyes flew up and caught his. Something had changed and his smile slipped away. Seconds before what had been pure desire blazing in the chestnut depths now mixed with a love and adoration he hadn’t seen in a long time.

  Tanner lifted a hand to her face, running a finger down her cheek. The haze of passion that had clouded his vision became something much stronger.

  She wrapped her hands behind his head, lowering her forehead to rest against his. “Tanner, I—”

  A sharp rap on the door accompanied by a small whiny voice cut off her next words. “Mommy, we’re hungry,” Noah pleaded from the other side.

  With a light chuckle, she closed her eyes, then placed a soft kiss on his cheek. She scrambled off the bed, but Tanner grabbed her wrist before she could step away. When she turned back, she pinned him with a dazzling smile that took his breath away. Words failing him at that moment, he kissed the inside of her wrist before letting her go.

  Ten minutes later, he braced his hands on the wall of the shower, his head hanging down as the icy blast did absolutely nothing to cool the fire Belle stirred.

  He pulled one hand back and slapped an open palm against the smooth tile. He was trying so damn hard to be patient. But waiting was so much harder than it had been in college. He knew what she felt like, what she tasted like, what she sounded like…and dammit all to hell, he wanted that back.

  With a growl, he turned off the water, unsure if his mounting anger was toward Belle or himself, and that only fueled his irritation. Tanner tugged a fresh t-shirt and shorts on with much more force than necessary.

  He marched down the stairs resolutely. He needed to talk to her. Needed to know that she saw the changes he was making. That she knew he was sorry and that he’d never make those kinds of mistakes again.

  And his conviction held firm until their eyes collided. The concentration that had filled her face while she poured orange juice and scooped scrambled eggs onto the plates dissolved into a sparkle that wiped away his frustration.

  She lifted a shoulder, and a light blush stained her cheeks. Twelve years together and she still blushed. “Hey.”

  So she wanted to flirt? He threw her the cocky smile he knew she loved. He could absolutely play this game. “Hey yourself, sweetheart.”

  Tanner dropped a kiss on Ava’s cheek and gave Noah a high five, feeling Belle’s gaze on him the entire time from where she stood with her hip propped against the counter. He crossed the room to stand as close to her as possible. He trailed a finger down her arm. “So what do you want to do today, sweetheart?”

  Some of the playfulness disappeared from her eyes. “I, um, I didn’t expect you to be home and, well, I was going to ask your parents to watch the kids to go to a yoga class. With Caroline. She, um, she invited me last night.”

  On the last word, Belle captured her bottom lip between her teeth. Tanner reached up and pulled it free, smoothing his thumb across it. “That sounds like a great day, Belle.” He touched his mouth against hers in the barest of kisses before leaning down close to her ear. “And an even better night if we get the kids to bed early.”

  He turned away to join the kids at the table, smiling to himself. But he couldn’t resist throwing a wink at her flushed face as he took his seat. “Hey, guys, Mom has some stuff to do today, so I was thinking we could go ride horses at Grandma and Grandpa’s.”

  ***

  The screaming from inside the apartment hit Tanner’s ears before he got his key in the lock. What in the holy hell was going on in there?

  Belle sat on the couch, eyes closed, mouth drawn down. The raised voices coming from where her phone sat on the coffee table seemed to get louder with each exchange. A single tear trailed down her cheek.

  He dropped his case on the chair and took a seat beside her, insults and sarcasm still blaring from her phone. She turned her head and fixed him with an empty gaze. At times like this, he really hated her parents.

  “They’re fighting over who is going to pay for my shoes.” Her voice was so soft he had to lean close to hear. “My shoes, Tanner. We are having a three-way phone conversation just so they can have a screaming match over my shoes.”

  Summoning every ounce of calm he could, Tanner cleared his throat. “Carla, Jerry, I just got home and Belle and I need to work on some things so she’s going to have to call you back.” He pressed the red button on the touchscreen before either of her parents could respond.

  How two such self-centered assholes could create something as beautiful and special as the girl falling apart in his arms astounded him. He wouldn’t change a thing about Belle, but he hated that her childhood was a constant cycle of shouting and selfishness. She deserved better. And he had every intention of giving her just that for the rest of their lives.

  She mumbled something against his navy polo shirt, and he set her away from him slightly, smoothing back her hair. “What’d you say, sweetheart?”

  “Let’s elope.”

  If she had told him she was actually an alien in disguise, he couldn’t have been more shocked. Since the day he proposed, she spent nearly every night skimming bridal magazines and websites, shoving various pictures in his face when she was exceptionally excited. And he feigned interest every time because damn, she was cute when she was eager.

  She wanted an autumn wedding. She wanted a four-tier wedding cake. She wanted a damn tiara. She didn’t want to elope.

  “Sweetheart, I don’t—”

  Belle covered his mouth with one hand. “Don’t say it. The dress, the venue, the cake…none of it matters. What matters is that we are married and we love each other and we love our day.” Fresh tears collected in the corners
of her eyes. “And there is no way I can enjoy my day with that. So please. Let’s elope. Tonight. Tomorrow. I don’t care.”

  Her words did a better job of silencing him than the soft palm resting against his lips. His mind raced. Damn, he wanted to do the right thing. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted her to have zero regrets. He wanted…

  “Please.” Belle’s hand slid from his mouth to his cheek, her voice soft and pleading.

  Well, hell. “Where to?”

  Within four hours, Belle had booked a flight to New Orleans, they had packed their bags, and they were driving to the airport. Their trip through security, at the ticket counter, and even the wait to board the plan seemed to fly by. Tanner stored their luggage in the overhead compartment and settled in beside Belle for the two and a half hour flight.

  Before he finished buckling his belt, she slipped her arm through his. “In less than twenty-four hours, I’m going to be your wife.”

  His chest swelled with an unexpected pride, but he couldn’t ignore the small voice of doubt that warned she may regret this decision in a week or a month or a year. When his brothers got married. When they were invited to a wedding. His stomach churned with worry that one day she would wish they had a big wedding.

  “Hey.” Her soft voice cut through his thoughts just as the plane leveled out. “What’s wrong?”

  Tanner had a brief internal debate on exactly how he should answer before closing his eyes and heaving a sigh. Screw the macho crap, he’d always be one hundred percent honest with her. “I’m scared you’re going to regret this one day.”

  Her lips curled into a sensuous smile. “You’re pretty sexy when you’re all insecure and stuff.” She nuzzled close to his ear. “There is not one second of our time together I’ve ever regretted, and this certainly won’t be the first one.”

  Tanner finally let go of the last reservation and turned slightly in his seat toward her. “So tomorrow is going to be a great day, right?”

  Belle’s hand, as it always inevitably did, drifted into his hair, playing with each short strand. “And it’s going to be an even better night.”

  Chapter

  Twenty-One

  Izzy

  “Focus on your breathing, in through your nose and out through your mouth.” Caroline’s voice was soft and melodic as she spoke to the group. “Take this opportunity to set an intention for yourself. Maybe you need to find compassion. Gratitude. Forgiveness. Feel free to revisit this intention at any point during your practice.”

  After several minutes of calm, comfortable silence, she stood and pushed a button. The soft instrumental music surrounded Izzy as she moved from one pose to the other. Occasionally Caroline would circulate through the small class and gently guide arms and legs into the correct position.

  Every movement pushed Izzy just a little past her body’s ability to bend, but with each pause, she relaxed a little further and her emotions calmed a little more.

  Right up until Izzy followed one of Caroline’s last instructions and assumed the pigeon pose, folding her right leg at the knee in front of her and extending her left leg behind her. The first few seconds put all the muscles in her hips on an extreme stretch. After nearly a minute, she adjusted to the position, but unexpected and unprovoked tears began to track down her cheeks.

  Her friend came behind her and firmly grasped her shoulders, running her hands down her upper arms. Caroline’s voice was soft and low, meant only for Izzy’s ears. “It’s okay, Izzy. Let it out, honey.”

  The very last thing Izzy had expected as she alternated her legs was for a fresh round of tears to fall in a classroom full of strangers. But she couldn’t seem to find it in herself to be embarrassed or ashamed. Only peace rolled through her with each tear that escaped.

  And the word that had immediately struck her at the beginning of class filtered through her mind once more. Forgiveness.

  Twenty minutes later, she pulled into the garage, and Caroline’s voice replayed in her head. It’s normal, it’s expected, for the deep hip exercises to let go of some emotions you’ve been holding onto. Caroline pulled her into a tight hug. It’s why I wanted you to come today, Iz. You needed this.

  A small smile pulled at Izzy’s mouth and stayed fixed throughout her shower and dinner with Tanner and the kids. When Tanner popped in the latest animated release for their family movie night, she moved just a little closer to him than she had in the past few weeks.

  Caroline was right. She needed that release and to let go of everything that had left a constant ache in her heart for so much longer than even she had realized. But she needed Tanner even more.

  And when they finally lay side-by-side in bed, she fit herself as tightly against him as she could. “Tanner, I need you.” She brushed her lips across his and tightened her grip on his white shirt. “I need you so much.”

  His fingers dug into her hip a little, and even in the dark room she could see his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Are you sure, sweetheart?”

  She slid her hands down the front of his shirt and grabbed the hem, tugging it over his head. “I’m so sure.” Her fingers traced along the muscles of his abdomen. “I’ve missed you so much, Tanner. Please.” She drew out the last word, knowing it would be his undoing.

  “Belle, if this is too soon, too fast—”

  Izzy lifted his hand from her hip and kissed each finger, slowly drawing the index finger into her mouth, keeping her gaze locked on his. “I need your hands on me.” She leaned forward and captured his mouth in a hard, brief kiss. “I need your lips on me.” She nudged him gently until he was lying on his back and she straddled his hips. “I need every part of you on every part of me, Tanner.”

  Before he could answer, she pulled off her short nightgown and threw it somewhere in the direction of the bathroom door. The sharp intake of breath from Tanner made her lips turn up in a smug grin. She kissed him again, softer, longer, and slowly made a trail down his chest to his navel, outlining each muscle there with her tongue.

  She slid his pajama pants and boxers down with her as she moved down his body. Her mouth wrapped around him with practiced confidence. She heard her name on a moan from his lips and bit back a smile. At one time, she had been hesitant and unsure, but now…now she knew exactly what Tanner wanted.

  Her tongue wrapped around him as her mouth glided up and down. Izzy looked up and saw his chest move faster, and she picked up her rhythm in time with his breathing.

  A strangled sound came from his throat, and before it registered, she found herself pulled back up until she was face to face with Tanner before he flipped her on her back.

  “Oh, hell no, sweetheart.” His voice was low and rugged. “No way in hell your hot little mouth is going to take away all my fun.”

  She wanted to smile, to laugh, to offer a quick retort, but before her mind could catch up, he was crashing into her and the breath was ripped from her body with the movement. Her hands flew into his hair and brought his mouth to hers. She locked her legs around him and found herself spiraling out of control much faster than she’d dreamed.

  Izzy broke the kiss and held his face inches from hers, staring into his blue eyes in the dim light. “Tanner, I…” The words ended on an indecipherable scream that was quickly followed by Tanner’s low moans.

  He collapsed on top of her and, despite his weight, she held him there for several minutes before he finally rolled on his side and pulled her against him.

  The silence stretched out for so long she began to think he’d fallen asleep when his chest rumbled against her cheek. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

  She planted a soft kiss against his chest. “I am now.” Izzy could feel his entire body relax next to her, and she smiled against his skin. “Well, I will be.”

  Immediately he responded by tensing and hooking a finger under her chin. “What’s wrong, Belle? Was that too rough? Too soon? Aw, hell, I’m sorry I…”

  She rocked forward and planted a kiss on his lips. “You’re pretty se
xy when you’re insecure.” Her fingers began walking across his chest and down his stomach. “But I was kinda hoping this wasn’t going to be a one-time deal.”

  His eyes widened at her words and his cocky smile fell right into place. He turned and pinned her on the mattress, grabbing her wandering hand and interlacing his fingers through hers, holding them above her head. “I like the way you think, Belle.”

  ***

  One hundred twenty-seven, one hundred twenty-eight…

  “You’re not going back to sleep, are you?”

  Izzy turned her head to the right where Tanner lay beside her on his stomach, one arm thrown over her midsection. “How did you know I was awake?”

  He popped one eye open. “Because your breathing changes when you wake up. Because I notice everything about you.” He grinned mischievously. “And because your foot has been shaking the bottom of the bed for the past ten minutes.”

  She scrunched her nose. “Sorry, I thought I was being quiet and calm counting the dots on the ceiling.”

  Tanner laughed into the pillow. “We probably should get up. Lots to do today.”

  “All we have to do is get the marriage license.” Her brows drew together. “That shouldn’t take long, should it?”

  With a groan, Tanner leaned over and kissed her shoulder before heaving himself out of bed. “It shouldn’t, but we also need to get rings and you need a dress and flowers.”

  Izzy sat up quickly on her knees on the mattress. “No, I packed a dress. And I don’t need flowers. Although you might have a point about the rings…” She waved her hand dismissively. “But we can even get those at some point when we get back home.”

  He stood next to the bed and planted a kiss on her forehead. “You’re getting a dress.” He kissed her left cheek. “And flowers.” He kissed her right cheek. “And rings.” He leaned in a little closer and nipped her earlobe. “But first I think we should get a shower.”

  Her arms flew around his neck as he lifted her up, and she laughed. “Well, we do have two hours until the clerk’s office opens…”